


Just Another Newsies Groupchat

by RavenclawRiter



Category: Newsies - All Media Types, Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: ;), F/F, Gay, Im writing this to get away from the inescapeable void that is public middle school, M/M, anyway, david was gonna expose jack for something but i dont know what, groupchat, ill ad some more later, im fine how are you, jack and spot are brothers yeet, just completely gay, most of these are based on real life experiences, race infected spot with the vsco virus, race is a vsco boi, romeos dad is a homophobic sock, wet banana peel is an insult now, why is this the only thing ive been writing these days, wow im bad at tags, yet - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-17
Updated: 2019-09-03
Packaged: 2019-11-19 15:46:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 4,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18137729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RavenclawRiter/pseuds/RavenclawRiter
Summary: Hey, this is gonna be complete chaos and im not sorry





	1. Screen Names

**Author's Note:**

> Some of the stuff that happens in this is gonna be based on conversations I've had with my friends. 
> 
> Yeah... my friends and I are weird.

Jack- PrettyPaperboy  
Davey- Mumther  
Crutchie- CaptainCrutch  
Buttons- UnButtonedIfYaKnowWhatIMean  
Spot- FightMePlz  
Katherine-BiBiBi  
Sarah- Awake@3AM  
Mike- DefinitelyIke  
Ike- DefinitelyNotIke  
Specs- Google  
Race- ImGay  
Albert- BigRed  
Elmer- AMythicBitch  
Finch- ImaBird  
Romeo- WhereforeArtThou   
JoJo- ILoveYouBitch  
Tommy Boy- TheTommyOfTheBoys  
Sniper- TakeMeOut  
Smalls- WithAGunOrOnADate  
Mush- Potatoe  
Blink- INeverBlink


	2. I’m like 90% sure that this is trash but ok

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woot woot bitch let’s yee this haw 
> 
> I warned you in the summary

_ ~ImGay has created GayBois~ _

_ ~ImGay has added 20 others~ _

 

ImGay ~ there is no escape

ImGay ~ only gaybois

TakeMeOut ~ EXCUSE ME

WithAGunOrOnADate ~ GAY GIRLS

BiBiBi ~ YEAH FUCK YOU RACE

Awake@3AM ~ GENDER

Awake@3AM ~ E Q U A L I T Y

PrettyPaperboy ~ race no

ImGay ~ race yes

INeverBlink ~ race no

DefinitelyIke ~ race no

DefinitelyNotIke ~ race no

FightMePlz ~ race I love you but no

ImGay ~ …

ImGay~ race maybe…?

Google ~ IT IS THREE IN THE GODDAMN MORNING GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP

WhereforeArtThou ~ PREACH

CaptainCrutch ~ caN i plEaSE gEt a WaFflE

UnButtonedIfYaKnowWhatIMean ~ shut up please

UnButtonedIfYaKnowWhatIMean ~ im bingeing buzzfeed unsolved and this is interrupting it

ILoveYouBitch ~ hey so am i 

ILoveYouBitch ~ gimme 5 minutes im coming over

UnButtonedIfYaKnowWhatIMean ~ k

BigRed ~ If we’re all up can we talk about that teacher we had in seventh grade that had a mental breakdown in english 

AMythicBitch ~ ya mean the one that threatened us then two minutes later said that he didn’t threaten us?

BigRed ~ yeah that one

Potatoe ~ why?

BigRed ~ idk

ImaBird ~ Ooo I have a bunch of quotes on my phone from that

ImaBird ~ “This is not what I signed up for”   
“You think this is a joke?”   
“I’m threatening these kids over here”   
“If that’s a threat your a threat”

Mumther ~ If I keep getting notifications from this, I will hit Race on the head with a brick. Remember I live next door.

FightMePlz ~ i think the fuck not

ImGay ~ Ooo the grammar

ImGay ~ the grammar scares me more than that empty threat

Mumther ~ Grammar is a choice and I choose to use it.

PrettyPaperboy ~ weird flex but ok

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That substitute teacher thing... yeah that was my class earlier this year.


	3. i wrote like this entire thing in english

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "i'll get those toes"

 

_ ~WithAGunOrOnADate has renamed this chat to I’ll get those toes~ _

 

AMythicBitch ~ WHAT THE FUCK

BigRed ~ who’s toes

TakeMeOut ~ mine

CaptainCrutch ~ EWWWW WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GUYS DOING

Mumther ~ …

PrettyPaperboy ~ WHO TAUGHT MY LITTLE CHICKEN NUGGET THAT WORD

CaptainCrutch ~ …

CaptainCrutch ~ ‘chicken nugget’?

TakeMeOut ~ smalls does have a toe fetish

ImGay ~ nononono we’re past that

ImGay ~ chicken nugget?

Google ~ who the fuck taught crutchie that word

WhereforeArtThou ~ ^^^^^^

Google ~ …

Google ~ uwu

CaptainCrutch ~ no wait go back

CaptainCrutch ~ WHY AM I A CHICKEN NUGGET

PrettyPaperboy ~ …

_ PrettyPaperboy has left the chat _

 

CaptainCrutch ~ NO I NEED ANSWERS

 

_ CaptainCrutch has added PrettyPaperboy to the chat _

 

DefinitelyNotIke ~ wait…

DefinitelyNotIke ~ this isn’t about that time that I compared crutchie to a chicken nugget is it?

PrettyPaperboy ~ no it is

CaptainCrutch ~ E X P L A I N

DefinitelyNotIke ~ ok so we were at chick-fil-e and I got chicken nuggets but one of them looked like you so I was like, ‘oh look at that little chicken nugget’

CaptainCrutch ~ …

CaptainCrutch ~ ok so now that that’s been figured out can we discuss the toes

DefinitelyIke ~ please

ILoveYouBitch ~ lets not

TakeMeOut ~ lets

TakeMeOut ~ so in spanish in 7th grade some kid in the back was just like ‘i’ll get those toes’ and eveyone turned around and was like WhotBoio

WithAGunOrOnADate ~ it was me

TakeMeOut ~ and then the person next to them was like ‘smalls does have a toe fetish’

TakeMeOut ~ thats how we met

ImaBird ~ cute 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That Spanish thing also happened


	4. Uwu I’m back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp I don’t know what’s happening

ILoveYouBitch ~ GUYS SOMETHING REALLY FUNNY JUST HAPPENED

ImGay ~ WHAT

ILoveYouBitch ~ so me specs and ike were at burger king and i got one of those kids meals and they gave me peaches with it and then specs and ike got the kids meal too and they gave specs pears and ike an orange 

ILoveYouBitch ~ so i was like ‘i have peaches’ and specs was like ‘i have pears’ and ike was like ‘i have an orange’ and then some guy walked by and was like ‘and im a disappointment’

Google ~ it’s true

DefinitelyNotIke ~ it was great

BigRed ~ …

BigRed ~ that was me

Google ~ OHMIGOD

DefinitelyNotIke ~ what were you doing at burger king 

ILoveYouBitch ~ yeah you hate burger king 

BigRed ~ i wanted fries

BiBiBi ~ you know what they put on those right

Awake@3AM ~ yeah those are rly gross 

BigRed ~ see how many fucks I give

AMythicBitch ~ awwwwwww

AMythicBitch ~ albo you’re not a disappointment 

BigRed ~ oofk

AMythicBitch ~ ...what

BigRed ~ oof

BigRed ~ k

AMythicBitch ~ ok never mind

INeverBlink ~ wait no

INeverBlink ~ how in the fuck did specs or Ike get a kids meal

Potatoe ~ yeah 

Potatoe ~ i mean romeos short so he can pass as under 12

Potatoe ~ But specs is like 6 feet tall 

Google ~ i told them it was finals week 

DefinitelyNotIke ~ they just gave us the food without asking after that 

AMythicBitch ~ I AM NOT THAT SHORT

Google ~ ….

ImGay ~ But you are…

ImGay ~ if it makes you feel any better Spot is shorter than you

FightMePlz ~ fuck you race

ImGay ~ sure

ImGay ~ when u wanna come over

CaptainCrutch ~ KEEP THAT IN YOUR OWN CHAT

PrettyPaperboy ~ none of us wanna know that

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I lost control of this and also wrote it at five in the morning


	5. Owo the hiatus has been cut short

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yea ik the hiatus said i wasn't gonna post until May, but I needed something to de-stress myself other than watching Wicked and Anastasia bootlegs... so here we are ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

DefinitelyNotIke ~ hey bitches who’s still up at 3am

ImGay ~ is it even necessary to ask me

BigRed ~ ^^^^^

AMythicBitch ~ what

Google ~ why hello

INeverBlink ~ what the fuck do u want

DefinitelyIke ~ GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP

CaptainCrutch ~ if you don’t want me to swear then u stop swearing

PrettyPaperboy ~ we’re past that

PrettyPaperboy ~ i don’t care anymore 

DefinitelyNotIke ~ so I was thinking of making a gc with all of the people who are up at 3am

ILoveYouBitch ~ sure

TakeMeOut ~ I’m down

Awake@3AM ~ well idk but I’m pretty sure I’m up

TakeMeOut ~ it might just be easier to take davey out of this one tho

WithAGunOrOnADate ~ true

BiBiBi ~ race can u sneak into daveys apartment and check if he’s sleeping or just watching this happen

ImGay ~ sure one sec

FightMePlz ~ stop encouraging him 

BiBiBi ~ that’s just how he is

FightMePlz ~ true

UnButtonedIfYaKnowWhatIMean ~ anyone wanna watch shane dawson conspiracy’s with me

Potatoe ~ of course

TheTommyOfTheBoys ~ me

ImGay ~ hes asleep

ImGay ~ and im now eating a cupcake that I stole off his counter

BiBiBi ~ that’s what i thought

WhereforeArtThou ~ can i remove davey from this 

ILoveYouBitch ~ yeah

  
  


_ WhereforeArtThou has removed Mumther from the chat _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i didn't have control over this from the start.


	6. Gc fanfics is a good way to destress

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t even know at this point

Mumther>>>>>>>>>PrettyPaperboy 

Mumther ~ Why am I not in the groupchat anymore?

PrettyPaperboy ~ you wernt up at 3am

Mumther ~ How do you know that?

PrettyPaperboy ~ …

Mumther ~ Jack. Tell me.

PrettyPaperboy ~ promise u won’t kill anyone 

Mumther ~ Ok?

PrettyPaperboy ~ race snuck into your apartment and checked

Mumther ~ You’re aware that that’s illegal right?

PrettyPaperboy ~ yes and?

Mumther ~ It’s fine, I really don’t care unless he took something.

PrettyPaperboy~ …

Mumther ~ What did he take?

PrettyPaperboy ~ a cupcake

Mumther ~ Ok, add me back into the group chat, I’d like to murder Race please.

 

**gay pepes**

_ PrettyPaperboy has added Mumther to gay pepes _

 

Mumther ~ ANTHONY HIGGINS

ImGay ~ fuck

AMythicBitch ~ Ooo shits goin down

Mumther ~ Is it true that you, a) snuck into my room and, b) took my cupcake?

Mumther ~ I will know if you lie.

ImGay ~ that depends on how you define lying

Mumther ~ ...Not telling the truth. How do you define lying?

ImGay ~ reclining oneself in a vertical position

 

_ Mumther has left the chat _

 

ImGay ~ and that my friends, is how you make davey not murder you

PrettyPaperboy ~ that was smart

BigRed ~ thats the smartest race has been his whole life

ImGay ~ r00d

FiteMePlz ~ but fucking true bitch

ImGay ~ for gosh sake watch your language

AMythicBitch ~ i understood that reference

CaptainCrutch ~ and i understod THAT reference

Potatoe ~ anyone wanna see endgame with me?

ImGay ~ uwu me

Pretty Paperboy ~ me

BiBiBi ~ can we just assume everyone wants to see it?

Potatoe ~ true

ILoveYouBitch ~ i am groot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


	7. What?? Is this??

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *shrugs in angsty teen

Potatoe ~ k guys I got the tickets for tomorrow at 11

PrettyPaperboy ~ works for me

AMythicBitch ~ ARE YA’LL READY TO CRY

ImGay ~ yA’Ll

TakeMeOut ~ idk if I can make it

WithAGunOrOnADate ~ why :(

TakeMeOut ~ I’m sick

Awake@3AM ~ how sick owo?

TakeMeOut ~ i sound like I smoke a pack of cigarettes a day

TakeMeOut ~  _ [redording of her smoker cough] _

ImGay ~ well ya know what they say

FightMePlz ~ no we dont 

FightMePlz ~ what do they say

ImGay ~ a pack a day keeps life away

BigRed ~ Jesus fucking Christ race you maniac

ImGay ~ yea I am

Google ~ hey guys

Google ~ I worship top the tater

DefinitelyIke ~ uwu me too

DefinitelyNotIke ~ can we join ur religion

Google ~ yea sure

TheTommyOfTheBoys ~ GUYS

TheTommyOfTheBoys ~ DID YOU KNOW THAT ALASKA WAS A STATE?

ILoveYouBitch ~ oh my god

WhereforeArtThou ~ why are you the way that you are

TheTommyOfTheBoys ~ uwu, idk

INeverBlink ~ are you guys ok?

ImGay ~ no

BigRed ~ absolutely not

ImaBird ~ 716 MESSAGES

ImaBird ~ 716 MESSAGES SINCE LAST NIGHT

ImaBird ~ DO. YOU. EVER. SLEEP.

ImGay ~ hahahahahahahaah. No.

TakeMeOut ~ guys

TakeMeOut ~ Spots bullying me

ImGay ~ that’s impossible 

FightMePlz ~ and why is that impossible

ImGay ~ to bully there has to be an imbalance of power

FightMePlz ~ Do not finish that sentence 

ImGay ~ Spots too short to have that

FightMePlz ~ ANTHONY EDWIN HIGGENS

ImGay ~ …

BigRed ~ EDWIN??

CaptainCrutch ~ EDWIN

PrettyPaperboy ~ IM DYING OMG

ImGay ~ i hate you all

ImGay ~ including Spot

ImGay ~ fuck u

WhereforeArtThou ~ uwu a little trouble in paradise I see

 

_ BigRed has changed ImGay’s username to Edwin _

 

Edwin ~ YOURE DEAD ALBERT

FightMePlz ~ press f to pay respects 

PrettyPaperboy ~ f

CaptainCrutch ~ f

BiBiBi ~ f

Awake@3AM ~ f

DefinitelyIke ~ f 

DefinitelyNotIke ~ f 

AMythicBitch ~ f

ImaBird ~ f

WhereforeArtThou ~ f

ILoveYouBitch ~ f

TakeMeOut ~ f

WithAGunOrOnADate ~ f

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes races middle name is Edwin  
> Fite me


	8. I have no control over this anymore

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi I’m back
> 
> It’s been a while
> 
> I just felt very creative at 1am :)

_ Edwin has renamed this chat to Wanna Have A Threesome _

FightMePlz ~ race let me be the first to say, 

FightMePlz ~ what the fuck

TakeMeOut ~ ^^^^^

BigRed ~ ^^^^^?

Edwin ~ Albert shut up you probably suck your dads toes

BigRed ~ Race let me be the second to say

BigRed ~ wut the fuck?

FightMePlz ~ hes still mad about the Edwin thing

FightMePlz ~ hes legit just sitting across the room from me glaring at his screen

FightMePlz ~ can we get back to the threesome thing?

Edwin ~ idk, I wanted attention 

FightMePlz ~ idiot, just come sit by me instead of ignoring me in my own apartment

BiBiBi ~ guys I’m in pain and watching shane

Awake@3AM ~ oh shit gimme a second I’m coming over with dark chocolate and my sweatshirt

BiBiBi ~ thanks ily full homo ❤️

TakeMeOut ~ Can me and sniper come over too?

BiBiBi ~ sure

DefinitelyIke ~ wut….

DefinitelyNotIke ~ just happened?

Awake@3AM ~ gorl stuff 

PrettyPaperboy ~ kk that’s nice let’s move on

CaptainCrutch ~ how many feet are in a year

PrettyPaperboy ~ …

PrettyPaperboy ~ crutch… when was the last time you slept?

CaptainCrutch ~ idk like two days ago why?

PrettyPaperboy ~ go to sleep broski

CaptainCrutch ~ nah fam I’m fine

Edwin ~ no ur not

AMythicBitch ~ no ur not

CaptainCrutch ~ guys no I’m fine seriously

PrettyPaperboy ~ ok no I’m coming over and forcing you to sleep 

CaptainCrutch ~ I’d like to see you try

Edwin ~ that was,,, oddly a threat but also sexual 

ImaBird ~ no race stop 

Edwin ~ Wait 

_ Edwin has removed PrettyPaperboy and CaptainCrutch from the chat _

Edwin ~ are they dating?

ImaBird ~ not that I know of

Edwin ~ kk

_ Edwin has deleted the previous three texts _

_ Edwin has added PrettyPaperboy and CaptainCrutch to the chat _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone wanna guess how much editing there was in this?  
> a) none  
> b) the one above this  
> c) not this


	9. wut?? just happened???(0,0)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im seeing dear even Hansen on broadway in 19 days and I’m so excited omg

_ 3:20 AM _

UnButtonedIfYaKnowWhatIMean ~ guys is chunga plural for chungas 

BiBiBi ~ dude go to sleep

UnButtonedIfYaKnowWhatIMean ~ uno reverse

BiBiBi ~ fuck

TakeMeOut ~ wow kath 

WithAGunOrOnADate ~ looks like you’ve been uno reversed

Edwin ~ guys I was actually asleep why would u do this

FightMePlz ~ wow Race I didn’t know u slept

PrettyPaperboy ~ guys does anyone know the password to crutchies phone 

PrettyPaperboy ~ i finally got him to sleep and the buzzing is going to wake him up

ImaBird ~ he hasn’t muted the chat yet?

PrettyPaperboy ~ clearly no

BigRed ~ amateur 

Edwin ~ i know but I don’t think he’d want me to tell u

PrettyPaperboy ~ I’m just gonna mute the chat,,,

Edwin ~ it’s not that

Edwin ~ yea I’m not telling you

Edwin ~ just throw the phone across the room

FightMePlz ~ or sit on it

PrettyPaperboy ~ I’m so confused

AMythicBitch ~ I’m confused as to why you don’t have your fingerprint on his phone 

ILoveYouBitch ~ yea aren’t you bffs

PrettyPaperboy ~ i never needed to before because HE WOULD ALWAYS TELL ME HIS PASSWORD

Edwin ~ sorry dude, I’d rather not have crutch screaming at me for an hour 

 

_ ILoveYouBitch has removed PrettyPaperboy and CaptainCrutch _

 

ILoveYouBitch ~ so what’s the password Race

Edwin ~ I’ll only tell u if you promise to not mention it at all 

Edwin ~ or try to get involved

BiBiBi ~ we all promise 

Edwin ~ yeah ok

Edwin ~ ilovejack

BigRed ~ WAIT WHAT

ImaBird ~ you like Jack?

Edwin ~ NO THATS THE PASSWORD YOU FUCKING IDIOTS

Edwin ~ IM LEGITIMATELY DATING SPOT

FightMePlz ~ yea I was confused

BigRed ~ WAIT CRUTCH LIKES JACK

Edwin ~ you can’t say ANYTHING OR YOU DIE

Awake@3AM ~ ooo tea

BiBiBi ~ boiling tea

WithAGunOrOnADate ~ uh oh sisters!

TakeMeOut ~ *distant crashing and sirens 

Edwin ~ yeah ok…

 

_ Edwin has deleted the previous 18 texts _

 

_ Edwin has added PrettyPaperboy and CaptainCrutch to the chat _

 

PrettyPaperboy ~ OK LET ME JUST SAY FUCK YOU ALL

BigRed ~ nah fam

Google ~ yea I’m good

WhereforeArtThou ~ I’m gonna mute this chat and go play bitlife

Edwin ~ kk 

Edwin ~ u do u bro

Google ~ hey guys do u know what the Klu Klux Klan is?

Lester ~ you mean like in fortnite?

Mumther ~ WHO ADDED LES

Edwin ~ WHO ADDED DAVE

Mumther ~ Wait, who’s Edwin?

FightMePlz ~ oh that’s race

Mumther ~ Ok… and why is his name ‘Edwin’?

Edwin ~ IF HE DOESN’T KNOW HE DOESN’T NEED TO KNOW

Edwin ~ But seriously, who added les and when?

Lester ~ I added myself through daveys phone while he wasn’t looking a few days ago

Google ~ fuck

PrettyPaperboy ~ watch your language

Edwin ~ i understood that reference

BigRed ~ and I understood THAT reference

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly have no clue where I’m going with this


	10. did I actually add a plot in here??

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I LITERALLY GOT THE NOTIFICATION ABOUT THE WEST SIDE STORY REVIVAL RIGHT NOW AND IM SO EXCITED I COULD SCREAM

_ 4:20 PM _

BigRed ~ alright gays lets get this bread

Google ~ what

Lester ~ ooo bread i like breed

Mumther ~ Why haven’t we removed Les yet?

Edwin ~ bc we don’t want to bitch

FightMePlz ~ calm yourself broski

Mumther ~ It’s been three months.

FightMePlz ~ ok and?

CaptainCrutch ~ what bread are we getting

BigRed ~ we’re gonna go see far from home

Edwin ~ wanna come

FightMePlz ~ WHY WASN”T I  INVITED TO THIS YOU FUCKERS

Edwin ~ sorry man

WhereforeArtThou ~ why don’t we all just go and get the endgame wound torn open again?

BiBiBi ~ yea man

BigRed ~ I’ll just take that as everyones going and buy tickets 

BigRed ~ youre welcome

TakeMeOut ~ hey does anyone remember that game of tag we played in kindergarden

PrettyPaperboy ~ the one where spot knocked me out with a rock?

TakeMeOut ~ yea that one

Mumther ~ I am so glad I didn’t know y’all when I was younger.

FightMePlz ~ IT WAS AN ACCIDENT SORRY

Edwin ~ you threw a rock at jacks head?

Edwin ~ by accident?

Google ~ I was there and it definitely wasn’t an accident

ILoveYouBitch ~ we were in kindergarden

AMythicBitch ~ you dont do anything by accident in kindergarden

ILoveYouBitch ~ ESPECIALLY throw rocks at peoples heads

Awake@3AM ~ while we’re remembering stuff, does anyone remember that time we watched high school musical and race passed out

Edwin ~ im pretty sure that was when i realized that i was gay

Edwin ~ have you SEEN RYAN EVANS

FightMePlz ~ A GAY ICON

BigRed ~ alright gays i got tickets for 6:45 

BigRed ~ b e  t h e r e

DefinitelyIke ~ DID ANYONE FINISH STRANGER THINGS SEASON 3 YET

DefinitelyNotIke ~ WE NEED TO TALK

AMythicBitch ~ THANK YOU SO MUCH DM ME

(authors note: I won’t spoil anything from stranger things or FFH in this chapter or the next few)

CaptainCrutch >>>>>>>>>>>>> PrettyPaperboy

CaptainCrutch~ hey can you come over?

Captain Crutch ~ i feel sad for some reason

PrettyPaperboy ~ sure man

PrettyPaperboy ~ want chocolate or something?

CaptainCrutch ~ nah we can just watch tictoks that cure my depression compilations on youtube

PrettyPaperboy ~ yea I’ll be over in like 15 minutes

CaptainCrutch ~ thanks ily no homo

 

PrettyPaperboy>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Edwin

PrettyPaperboy ~ GUYS CRUTCHIE ASKED ME TO COME OVER AND WATCH TICTOK WITH HIM    
PrettyPaperboy ~ IM HAVING A GAY PANIC

Edwin ~ wait

Edwin ~ you like crutch

PrettyPaperboy ~ ...yea

Edwin ~ oh my god

PrettyPaperboy ~ PLEASE DONT TELL HIM ITLL RUIN ME

Edwin ~ I wont tell him but I will tell you that you should probably tell him how you feel because i have a sneaking suspicion that it’ll go well for you

PrettyPaperboy ~ whats that supposed to mean?

Edwin ~ nothing

_ Edwin has gone offline _

PrettyPaperboy ~ what the fuck race

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have nothing to say for myself


	11. pLoT DevELoPmENt iS hAppENiNg

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> beep beep motherfuckers  
> shits going down

_ CaptainCrutch>>>>>>>>Edwin _

CaptainCrutch ~ RACETRACK

CaptainCrutch ~ FUCKING

CaptainCrutch ~ HIGGINS

CaptainCrutch ~ WHAT HAVE YOU DONE

Edwin ~ what?? I have no idea what you’re talking about…

CaptainCrutch ~ ANTHONY EDWIN HIGGINS

Edwin ~ ok fine 

Edwin ~ YOU WERE BOTH PINING AND I JUST NUDGED HIM IN THE CORRECT DIRECTION

CaptainCrutch ~ ok well jack just basically confessed his love to me and now ive locked myself in the bathroom and I’m pretty sure hes crying on my couch

Edwin ~ do you want to go out and talk to him or shall i text him

CaptainCrutch ~ i want to tell you to text him but you’ll probably make it worse 

Edwin ~ ngl thats fair

Edwin ~ so are you gonna go talk to him or…

CaptainCrutch ~ let me calm down quick

Edwin ~ ok

Edwin ~ and he does like you so please dont panic

CaptainCrutch ~ ok i’ll go out in like five minutes

Edwin ~ you go broski

 

_ PrettyPaperboy>>>>>>>Edwin _

PrettyPaperboy ~ why did crutch hide in the bathroom after I confessed everything you little motherfucker

  
  
  


_ TOMMY BRACCO STANS™ _

TakeMeOut ~ well. I am in quite a prediciment

Edwin ~ oh?

BigRed ~ what would that be?

TakeMeOut ~ ok so i need to go to the bathroom but im scrolling through instagram and i follow all these meme accounts and i swear theyre all posting right now so i keep telling myself, ‘ok ill look at one more post’ but then i finish one then scroll down a bit and i see another one and im like oop i guess i have to look at it too 

TakeMeOut ~ and it never ends

Potatoe ~ wet your pants i guess

TakeMeOut ~ but im on a leather couch

TakeMeOut ~ idk man i think ill just die

FightMePlz ~ oh my god just go to the bathroom

TakeMeOut ~ i cant force myself to move

INeverBlink ~ use those legs of yours

TakeMeOut ~ what legs

TakeMeOut ~ I have only computer

 

_ 2:47 AM _

PrettyPaperboy ~ YOU”LL NEVER GUESS WHAT HAPPENED

CaptainCrutch ~ I”M SO HAPPY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TAKE A WILD FUCKING GUESS AT WHAT HAPPENED  
> also i could write a oneshot about the JackCrutchie thing if anyones interested  
>  that convo on the gc actually happened


	12. this was made out of entirely tumblr promps

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if anyone was wondering why buttons never shows up in these, its because me, being an idiot, MADE HIS USERNAME SO FRIKING LONG

_ Tommy Bracco Stans ™  _

Edwin ~ WILL ANYONE MAKE A TIKTOK WITH ME

BigRed ~ where do i meet you

PrettyPaperboy ~ i would literally rather throw myself off a cliff

Mumther ~ I politely decline.

FightMePlz ~ ha hahahaha hahaha 

FightMePlz ~ fuck you

Edwin ~ was… was that a tiktok reference i heard from you spottyboi?

FightMePlz ~ no

AMythicBitch ~ i’ll come ig

BiBiBi ~ absolutely

Potatoe ~ me

UnButtonedIfYaKnowWhatIMean ~ im joining

DefinitelyIke ~ lets make a tiktok cult

Google ~ race where do we meet you

Edwin ~ come to my apartment

Edwin ~ were gonna dance on the tables and probably break something 

CaptainCrutch ~ i didn’t even know you had a tiktok

Edwin ~ ive had one for a while now

TakeMeOut ~ sorry i cant me and smalls are making soop

Mumther ~ ...Soup?

WithAGunOrOnADate ~ no 

TakeMeOut ~ were making soop

TheTommyOfTheBoys ~ race im coming too

Mumther ~ What is ‘soop’?

TakeMeOut ~ youre not cool enough to know

Edwin ~ spot why wont you come

FightMePlz ~ no

FightMePlz ~ i refuse

Edwin ~ i hate you just so you know

FightMePlz ~ oh darling, you break my heart

Edwin ~ who are you kidding

Edwin ~ you dont have a heart to break

PrettyPaperboy ~ wow thats cold

CaptainCrutch ~ race wait for me to start the tiktok

CaptainCrutch ~ i have to walk because my car wont start

PrettyPaperboy ~ stop refering to me as your car

CaptainCrutch ~ no

Edwin ~ cant you run over here

CaptainCrutch ~ idiot

CaptainCrutch ~ i can limp quickly

Edwin ~ and i oop-

WhereforeArtThou ~ ok so i was on tumblr looking for writing prompts as one does and i found one that emits so much race and spot energy it hurts

DefinitelyNotIke ~ i am looking forward to this

WhereforeArtThou ~ P1-  “Face it, asshole, you’re stuck with me until we get out of here.”

P2 -“Don’t underestimate my willingness to die just to spite you.”

Edwin ~ wow you did find one

FightMePlz ~ you could reverse the roles and it would still work

PrettyPaperboy ~ see this is why crutch and i are a better couple

FightMePlz~ i will bash your teeth in bitch

PrettyPaperboy ~ oh just like you did when we were seven asshole

FightMePlz ~ YOU BEHEADED MR CUDDLES YOU ABSOLUTELY DESERVED IT

Edwin ~ oh my god

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if anyone wants to follow my tiktok  
> @beckmeister.2000


	13. this is just as chaotic as smol children at a jojo siwa concert

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> disclaimer: im not catholic and the catholic jokes arent meant to offend anyone
> 
> THIS IS LITERALLY ALL OVER THE PLACE I DONT EVEN KNOW WHATS HAPPENING  
> also, john mulaney ghost wrote this

_ Tommy Bracco Stans ™ _

_ 12:09AM _

 

DefinitelyNotIke ~ catholic is basically communist

PrettyPaperboy ~ care to explain

DefinitlyNotIke ~ no

Mumther ~ This coming from a catholic?

DefinitelyIke ~ a reluctant one

Edwin ~ ya know youre right

TakeMeOut ~ how is catholic different from christian even

BiBiBi ~ yall have to tell the preists your sins and idk why even

DefinitelyNotIke ~ yea i dont either

Edwin ~ what a coincidince

Edwin ~ im watching john mulaney shit

DefinitelyNotIke ~ how?? Is that a coincidince?

BigRed ~ JOHN MULANEY WAS RAISED CATHOLIC YOU WET BANANA PEEL

CaptainCrutch ~ im going to use that insult from now on instead of swearing

Awake@3AM ~ me too

ImaBird ~ what if you used it to insult a robber and they started laughing then shot you

Edwin ~ STREET SMARTS

Mumther ~ That doesn’t even help though.

ImaBird ~ it makes your life longer by about 20 seconds my dude

WhereforeArtThou ~ i wish my dad had given me the exact same sex talk as john mulaneys dad did

PrettyPaperboy ~ ...why?

WhereforeArtThou ~ because then i could have said that he was encourageing me to be gay in the sex talk yeet

Google ~ i think we’ve established that your dad is a homophobic moist sock

Lester ~ and i oop-

Lester ~ skskskskskskskskkskskskskkskskks

TakeMeOut ~ SOMEBODY THROW A PLASTIC STRAW AT HIM

Lester ~ *sksking intensifies

Lester ~ SKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKSK

Lester ~ SAVE 

Lester ~ THE MUTHERFRICKING

Edwin ~ TURTLES

PrettyPaperboy ~ …

BigRed ~ …

ILoveYouBitch ~ …

FightMePlz ~ what the fuck race

Edwin ~ im sorry spot

Edwin ~ youre dating a closeted vsco boy

FightMePlz ~ shit

Edwin ~ [sent a picture of him with a hydroflask, scrunchie, puka shell necklace, and a long t shirt that makes him look like he has no pants on]

BigRed ~ ok everyone get to races apartment right now and bring plastic straws

BigRed ~ we have to exorsize the vsco demon

PrettyPaperboy ~ me and crutch are on our way

FightMePlz ~ im already there

ILoveYouBitch ~ me and finch are coming but it might take a while bc hes listening to michael in the bathroom and sobbing

Google ~ im bringing romeo

Google ~ someone stop at target and get a shit ton of plastic straws

Edwin ~ skskskskskskkskskskskskks

CaptainCrutch ~ someone help jack is literally running red lights whats wrong with him

Mumther ~ JACK KEVIN KELLY IF YOU DO NOT STOP RUNNING RED LIGHTS I WILL EXPOSE YOU

CaptinCruch ~ jack says dont you fucking dare if you value your kneecaps

Edwin ~ oop-

Mumther ~ Maybe I don’t.

CaptainCrutch ~ jack says he’ll kidnap les if you do

Mumther ~ I don’t care.

Lester ~ wow thats not very cash money of you

Edwin ~ THAT MEME IS DEAD 

ILoveYouBitch ~ wait maybe making dead meme references will kill the vsco spirits

Google ~ [troll face meme]

Edwin ~ AHHHHHHH

BigRed ~ [me gusta meme]

Edwin ~ sksksAHHHHHHHHH

CaptainCrutch ~ [n y a n c a t]

Edwin ~ AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhh

BiBiBi ~ AINT NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT

Edwin ~ WEL:FKJ:DSLKHA:OFIU:DGNFJKFDVH:DSKFHDSUF:JKL

ILoveYouBitch ~ ITS WORKING KEEP GOING

INeverBlink ~ [Aurthurs Fist]

Edwin ~ ALKFJ:DLSKJF:LSDKJF:LAKHF:LKDSJF:LKJDSSSSSSTOP

FightMePlz ~ [pepe meme]

Edwin ~ AHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHA

Edwin ~ IM BACK PLEASE STOP

BigRed ~ how can we be sure

Edwin ~ just come to my apartment and we can watch john mulaney

Google ~ what if hes just doing this to trick us into coming so he can infect us with the vsco virus

Edwin ~ yaknow i wouldnt put it past me

INeverBlink ~ wait… 

INeverBlink ~ didn’t spot say he was already there

PrettyPaperboy ~ oh god

FightMePlz ~ save 

FightMePlz ~ the mutHERFRICKING

FightMePlz ~ TURTLES

FightMePlz ~ SKSKSKSKSKSKKSK BITCH

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> plot? what plot?
> 
> also i really wanna make a tiktok of people exorsizing a vsco spirit from a vsco girl so follow my tiktok @beckmeister.2000


	14. this chapter is really boring im sorry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> theres gonna be more chapters based on quotes that i hear during class bc school just started but for now enjoy whatever this is lmao

_ Kill The Vsco Demon ™  _

_ 3:24 AM _

BigRed ~ GUYS

Edwin ~ sksksksk yes?

FightMePlz ~ if you keep acting like a vsco girl, im literally going to sneak into your apartment and replace all your shoelaces with cooked spaghetti

CaptainCrutch ~ wait spot werent you infected with the vsco virus

FightMePlz ~ race locked me in his kitchen and texted the vsco stuff with my phone

PrettyPaperboy ~ oh thank god i dont think i could have handled you as a vsco boi

iLoveYouBitch ~ you gotta admit that would be hilarious tho

TakeMeOut ~ i didnt need that image in my head 

Edwin ~ sksksk yes you did

FightMePlz ~ thats it

 

_ FightMePlz has removed Edwin from the conversation _

 

FightMePlz ~ vsco boi gone

Lester ~ sksksk no

 

_ FightMePlz has removed Lester from the conversation _

 

FightMePlz ~ much better

WithAGunOrOnADate ~ ok now we need to strategize on how to get the vsco demon out of him

Potatoe ~ dudes theres probably a wikihow tbh

PrettyPaperboy ~ OH MY GOD YES

Google ~ there isnt i checked

DefinitelyIke ~ ok what about just a wikihow exorcism

Google ~  [ https://www.wikihow.com/Exorcise-Your-House-or-Dwelling ](https://www.wikihow.com/Exorcise-Your-House-or-Dwelling)

Potatoe ~ thats for a house

INeverBlink ~ same thing 

BiBiBi ~ GUYS THERES AN ARTICLE CALLED WHO ARE THE VSCO GIRLS AND WHAT DO THEY WANT IM WHEEZING

Google ~ link or it didnt happen

BiBiBi ~  [ https://www.dailydot.com/unclick/what-is-vsco-girl-meme-90s/ ](https://www.dailydot.com/unclick/what-is-vsco-girl-meme-90s/)

FightMePlz ~ i just walked in on race watching videos of people blowing stuff up with bazookas

TakeMeOut ~ GUYS  I ACCIDENTIALY JUST SUMMONED A DEMON

WithAGunOrOnADate ~ hOW IN THE FUCK DO YOU ACCIDENTIALLY SUMMON A DEMON

TakeMeOut ~ i was drinking coffee at like 2 30 and then it just appeared in front of me and told me to join it or it would beat me over the head with a carrot then shove it up my nose

BiBiBi ~ honey go to sleep

TakeMeOut ~ sleep? Never heard of her

WithAGunOrOnADate ~ wait is that what the moaning from the kitchen was a few minutes ago

Google ~ ????

INeverBlink ~ what in the everloving fuck

TakeMeOut ~ high quality coffee is a sexual experience for me

Potatoe ~ im not even going to question that

TakeMeOut ~ its best that you dont

WithAGunOrOnADate ~ please come back to bed bb i want cuddles

TakeMeOut ~ are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleep patterns

WithAGunOrOnADate ~ is it working?

ImaBird ~ YALL WHOS DOWN FOR SOME MURDER

Potatoe ~ ME

CaptainCrutch ~ ME 

ILoveYouBitch ~ ME

Potatoe ~ WHO ARE WE MURDERING

ImaBird ~ RACE

ILoveYouBitch ~ WHY

ImaBird ~ TO GET THE VSCO DEMON OUT ONCE AND FOR ALL

FightMePlz ~ no

FightMePlz ~ we’re not killing race you fuckers

Edwin ~ if i dont die from this i deem myself immortal

INeverBlink ~ HOW IN THE FUCK DID YOU GET BACK INTO THE GC AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING

Edwin ~ i have my ways AND IM CONSITERING JUMPING OFF MY BED AND SEEING IF I CAN BREAK THROUGH THE FLOOR

Google ~ …

Google ~ is he drunk

Google ~ or high

FightMePlz ~ probably

 

 

 

 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is all over the place

**Author's Note:**

> Wattpad~ RavenclawRiterSis


End file.
